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Celebrating Women's History Month | DOWNLOAD Your FREE eBOOK

Are You Faithfully Celebrating Women's History Month? Yes! We celebrate all successful women, but not because they are greater than we are.

“I’m old. I have cellulite. I’m 10 lbs overweight. My husband doesn’t look at me the way he used to. I don’t love him the way I did before. What happened to my life?”

I listened to a friend of mine tell me about how she just didn’t feel like waking up to go to work because she hated life. “This is not the life I planned. I’m successful, but I’m not happy. Nothing makes me happy.”

As we celebrate Women’s History Month in March, I thought it would be interesting to look at the contrast between what women want and what we actually get.

For many years, women have been celebrated during the month of March to highlight their extraordinary contributions to their countries. Both here in the U.S. and internationally, women have left a mark in history that deserves celebration, and this year, the theme for Women’s History Month is "Honoring Trailblazing Women in Labor and Business.”

As a businesswoman, I am very much aware of the challenges that threaten success. The greatest struggles that kept me from wanting to get out of bed, like my friend, were financial challenges, uncertainty, lack of confidence, strong competitors, and my inability to find “loyal” staff members. All of the areas were extremely challenging, however, the greatest struggle I had was establishing work/life balance consistently.

Day after Day, I work with women who feel unworthy, devalued, uncelebrated, and insecure. Interestingly enough, if you walked past one of them on the street, you would never know that they’ve thrown in the towel on happiness, contentment, and peace. Why? Because she looks amazing! She drives a luxury car (or something close to it). Her makeup is flawless. Her children are adorable and well dressed. She works hard. People love her. She is successful. She is all that; but, she’s dying inside. I just described the clients that I work with, but I also described me. My passion to help others came from a long, hard look in the mirror. When each of us looks into the mirror we should see one thing: HUMANITY. We are all HUMAN. This means that we all struggle. We all have insecurities. We all want to be loved. We all want to be valued. We all want success.

 

Are You Faithfully Celebrating This Month?

We Celebrate Successful Women; But, Not Because They’re Greater Than Us.

 

This month, we celebrate Women’s History in the United States…but many women harbor deep pain and problems.

Beneath the passion, behind all of the great success we find ourselves also motivated by a deep, painful guilt I, myself, know a great deal about. You may even question the importance of celebrating someone's life that doesn't quite model yours. Maybe women's history means nothing to you.

Well, it really doesn’t matter if you’re in the beginning phase of history making or not. False comparisons are made when you’ve no personal success as a point of reference.  

When March comes around, we ironically invite “the comparison trip” into our heads. Guilt floods in when you want the success that you find in another person.

Don’t feel embarrassed by it. This particular battle is a hard one to fight. And maybe it’s not just during the month of March, maybe it every month of the year that you struggle with illegitimate comparisons to your friends, coworkers, societal icons, or your sister.

 

- There’s Only One Way To Being You

 

Wherever you are; no matter how you’re going to “get there,” you’re not fulfilled until you arrive at your destination. The truth is, I don’t have a remedy or cure for the guilt you deal with.

I do, however, have a solution to enable you to walk the happy road to being you. The manifestation of who you are means you’ll be celebrated this month. There’s no need to wait.

I’m calling it my “positive step approach.” Instead of working on your guilt trip, I’m going to work on your final destination. This isn’t the place you’re at, at the moment.

Let me take you on the journey to become you! This is the same journey that the women we celebrate this month took to ultimate success. It was never an overnight success, and I won’t make it one for you. The journey ahead is a serious commitment that you have to make to achieve your personal goals.

-----------Once you’re in the rightful place, there will be no one else to compare with.

To do that for you, I’m releasing my book for free this month. At the cost of nothing, it’s put directly into your hands. Your final commitment, to end the guilt, is to read it. I’ve never given something so valuable away for free.

I Will Not Put A Price Tag On What’s Rightfully Yours. I can only do it during this month.

You have an entire celebration to go through. And we’re now walking you past the emptiness, anxiety and void. Embrace the fullness that’s yours.

Do it now. Open your copy, and discover how powerful success becomes when you become you. We’re ready to celebrate Women’s History Month, but this time it’s for you to make YOUR MARK and success this time. I know…you already have it in you!

- J.J.

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My Domestic Violence Survivor Story | Emotional Mojo on WE Tv | Jada Jackson

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This week I crossed another emotional threshold…a huge step toward emotional freedom on Emotional Mojo!

It was a little over a year ago when I joined the Emotional Mojo Talk Show team and I had no idea the impact this decision would have on my life. As a therapist, I am accustomed to listening to the challenges of others and developing treatment plans to assist in the healing process. On the other hand, as a talk show host, I have the unique challenge of looking into our society’s hot topics and current events to understand the psychology behind the headlines and unusual behavior. What I did not anticipate was the distinct opportunity I would have to share my “personal” experiences, fears, beliefs and strategies. This was “terrifying” for me because as a therapist, I am trained to be non-biased and never project my personal beliefs or opinions onto my clients. So, when I met our Emotional Mojo producers (especially RC) for the first time they wanted to know about “ME!” However, I wasn’t quite ready to reveal the "real Jada” to the viewing audience because I couldn’t decide how to balance the “Therapist-Jada” and the “Talk Show Host-Jada.” It was certainly a complicated journey and even though I wrote a book about my challenges with domestic violence, I’ve never openly discussed my pain and personal life on national television. Well, that has changed and I’ve been triggered to open up.

The trigger for me to open up and share my domestic violence story again reignited during the Ray and Janay Rice elevator incident. When the second video was released and we saw the confrontation unfold “inside” of the elevator many were outraged. One of our producers sent out an email about Twitter’s trending #whyistayed. I clicked the link and was moved by most of the Tweets, but horrified by others. The hurtful ones were the scathing name-calling Tweets that suggested domestic violence victims are crazy and stupid for staying in a situation that was clearly dysfunctional. Well, maybe it was not stated in those exact words but you get the idea; so I was compelled to blog about it.  Then it hit me. One of the reasons I stopped talking about my challenges was because of people like that! The condemnation, the judgment, the ridicule and the insensitivity were too much for me to deal with; so, I began to silence my voice. After all, I’m a therapist and I should just get over it! However, the truth remains constantly in my mind and although the physical and some of the mental pains have subsided, the emotional scars continue to need attention (especially in intimate relationships).

If you did not get a chance to read my first article about the Ray Rice incident and domestic violence CLICK HERE.

ALSO, On Monday morning, tune in or set your DVRs to here our personal testimonies of domestic violence and how you can help.  If you or someone you know is facing a painful domestic violence situation, tune into WE Tv at 6am EST to watch our compelling stories on Emotional Mojo and contact a therapist to assist in your healing process.

Sincerely Be-You-Tiful,

 

Jada Jackson, LMHC

Licensed Mental Health Counselor

Talk Show Host of Emotional Mojo

Author of Be-You-Tiful: The Threefold Process to Becoming You

Blogger and Author of Jada Jackson: My Story, My Life

The Official Facebook Fan Page: Jada Jackson Life Coach

jadajackson.com

 

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Twitter's #WhyIStayed | I Needed Daddy's Love | Jada Jackson

Jada Jackson: Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Emotional Mojo Talk Show Host and Domestic Violence Survivor #WhyIStayed

Jada Jackson: Licensed Mental Health Counselor, Emotional Mojo Talk Show Host and Domestic Violence Survivor #WhyIStayed

Twitter’s #WhyIStayed got our Emotional Mojo producers thinking about domestic violence victims and I had to jump in and share my story…

So, here are my questions...Have you ever been in a relationship where you were punched in the face? Have you ever loved someone that brutally abused you? Have you ever stayed in a relationship after someone broke your back by tossing you down a flight of stairs? If so, there is a strong possibility you are being abused once again as the Raven’s Ray Rice saga continues. Why are you victimized yet again? Because there are those who are being verbally abusive (#whyistayed) and cruel because they cannot understand how you could be so “stupid” to stay in a brutal domestic violent situation. What they don’t understand is that YOU were a victim long before you entered into an abusive relationship. Remember, the opposite-sex parent develops positive and healthy self-esteem. So, there is a possibility that your were not equipped with the necessary skills and tools needed to navigate intimate relationships (this is NOT an excuse, but a fact). Not only have fathers failed female victims, but victims have been failed by a society of leaders that “look the other way.”

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After NFL superstar Ray Rice was give a two-game suspension for striking his then fiancé Janayn Palmer in an elevator fight, many were outraged when Palmer married him and refused to press charges. Since the marriage, new footage of the attack was released by TMZ showing Rice throwing a single punch that knocked Palmer unconscious.

So, why do women (or men) stay in abusive relationships? Here are the simple answers with the understanding that abuse is much more complicated than a list of reasons for staying.

1)             Humiliation

2)             Financial/Socioeconomic benefits or status

3)             Generational belief that abuse is normal

4)             Fear

5)             Poor self-concept or poor self-esteem

6)             Warped love

7)             Children

8)             Religious Beliefs

9)             Emotional manipulation

 

We should all understand that victims stay for various reasons. So, since I am a domestic survivor, I will share with you “why I stayed.” As a childhood survivor of domestic violence, I did not know anything else. Unfortunately, I was accustomed to seeing my mother hit, kicked, slapped around and tossed around. I became used to yelling, screaming and broken glass. Is this an “excuse?” NO! It’s just a simple reality. I’d never seen a healthy marriage or intimate relationship. So, naturally I grew up and stayed in several physically and emotionally abusive relationships. It was my mother who called the police several times hoping I would come to my senses and leave the abusive relationship. So, why didn’t I leave? Humiliation, Religious Beliefs and poor self-esteem.

Today, as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, I work with men and women that have suffered physical, psychological, emotionally and spiritual abuse at the hands of someone they love. I fully understand the frustrations of non-victims and non-survivors. However, I plead with you to have mercy and extend grace to those that still struggle to embrace freedom from a domestic violent relationship. Here’s how you can help according to womenshealth.gov:

Here are some ways to help a friend who is being abused:

  • Set up a time to talk. Try to make sure you have privacy and won't be distracted or interrupted.
  • Let your friend know you're concerned about her safety. Be honest. Tell her about times when you were worried about her. Help her see that what she's going through is not right. Let her know you want to help.
  • Be supportive. Listen to your friend. Keep in mind that it may be very hard for her to talk about the abuse. Tell her that she is not alone, and that people want to help.
  • Offer specific help. You might say you are willing to just listen, to help her with childcare, or to provide transportation, for example.
  • Don't place shame, blame, or guilt on your friend. Don't say, "You just need to leave." Instead, say something like, "I get scared thinking about what might happen to you." Tell her you understand that her situation is very difficult.
  • Help her make a safety plan. Safety planning includes picking a place to go and packing important items.
  • Encourage your friend to talk to someone who can help. Offer to help her find a local domestic violence agency. Offer to go with her to the agency, the police, or court.
  • If your friend decides to stay, continue to be supportive. Your friend may decide to stay in the relationship, or she may leave and then go back many times. It may be hard for you to understand, but people stay in abusive relationships for many reasons. Be supportive, no matter what your friend decides to do.
  • Encourage your friend to do things outside of the relationship. It's important for her to see friends and family.
  • If your friend decides to leave, continue to offer support. Even though the relationship was abusive, she may feel sad and lonely once it is over. She also may need help getting services from agencies or community groups.
  • Keep in mind that you can't "rescue" your friend. She has to be the one to decide it's time to get help. Support her no matter what her decision.
  • Let your friend know that you will always be there no matter what.

If you or someone you know are struggling in a domestic violent relationship, contact a therapist today!

Sincerely Be-You-Tiful,

 

Jada Jackson, LMHC

Licensed Mental Health Counselor

Talk Show Host of Emotional Mojo

Author of Be-You-Tiful: The Threefold Process to Becoming You

Blogger and Author of Jada Jackson: My Story, My Life

The Official Facebook Fan Page: Jada Jackson Life Coach

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