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The Perfect Guy | Is Your Partner a Sociopath? | Jada Jackson, LMHC

Is your partner a sociopath?

From time to time, Hollywood gives us an opportunity to discussion real life mental health and relationship issues by releasing major feature films like “the perfect guy.”

After its debut, many questioned the behaviors of their boyfriends, girlfriends, partners or spouses…why? Because sociopathic behavior begins charming and often ends destructive.

“The Perfect Guy” with Sannaa Lathan, Michael Ealy and Morris Chessnut, did not disappoint us, as the thriller captured all of the conflict, drama and romance of relationships at various stages. If you haven’t seen the movie, I will not spoil it for you…but, what I will do, is give you a step by step blow of how you can spot sociopathic behavior in your love life…

So, how many of us are actually faced with the sociopathic aggression of our exes after a breakup? And, How do you know if your partner has sociopathic tendencies?
Here are a few things to look out for:
But first, let me just say that ALL of us have some form of CRAZY…so, don’t take my list to the extreme. As a LMHC, I assess my clients for Duration, Intensity and Frequency of symptoms. This means that before I even think about diagnosing a patient with a disorder, I want to ensure that the DIF are significant enough to consider.

With that said, according to Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders….this is what to look for if you believe you are dating a sociopath…
•    Superficial charm
•    Grandiose sense of self-worth
•    Prone to boredom
•    Pathological lying
•    Manipulative
•    Lack of remorse
•    Shallow
•    Lack of empathy
•    parasitic lifestyle
•    poor behavior control
•    unrealistic goals
•    impulsive
•    irresponsible
•    unreliable
•    impersonal sex life

If you are dating someone that fits the criteria of a sociopath, consider whether or not your life is negatively effected by their behavior. Remember, it is important to trust your gut and make sure that you are not in danger. If you are second guessing your situation, contact a relationshiop counselor that can help you sort though your confusiton.
And if you haven’t seen the movie, click on trailors listed below.
If you’ve seen the movie, I want to know your thoughts. Share your comments and thoughts below.
I’m Jada Jackson, LMHC and I’ll see you next time.

Please Comment! Let me know what you think.

 

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Laws of Attraction | 3 Steps to Use the Laws to Your Advantage | Jada Jackson LMHC

Laws of Attraction | 3 Steps to Use the Laws to Your Advantage | Jada Jackson LMHC

We can all point out the “beautiful” people in a room, but that doesn’t guarantee we’re all going to be 100% attracted to them. For example, your friend can be completely love-struck by someone you think resembles a blend between Carrot Top and Quasimodo, why is that? Why are we attracted to one person over another? What draws us to certain people, aside from the obvious physical appearance?

This can be explained by the “Law of Attraction,” the concept that ‘like attracts like’. Positive attracts positive and negative attracts negative. The reciprocity principal and the uncertainty principle also play a part in our attraction toward potential partners. 

There are 2 elements in the law of attraction that makes it a bit complicated. In the reciprocity principle there are clear signs of interest from both sides, the attraction progresses and things go on from there. In the uncertainty principle a person finds out another ‘might’ like them and become focused on the discovering the answer. They begin to interpret actions as explanations to support the possibility. This focus begins to translate as desire and longing without truly knowing them.

happy-couple.jpeg

Those dealing with the reciprocity principle felt happier, more content, and made a smoother transition into a relationship. Those dealing with the uncertainty principle felt higher levels of attraction but lower levels of happiness. The uncertainty can become emotionally draining.

As far as “like attract like,” the attitude we have can determine the type of people we attract. A positive or negative attitude can be picked up on from across the room. It can be from our posture, hand movements, tone of voice, facial expressions, and so on. We make unconscious leaks in our attitude that are picked up and pursued by those who can relate. Which is why we often find ourselves in the same type of relationship.

Use the Law of Attraction in your favor to start attracting the best partners for you.

1.     Stay true to yourself. You can’t attract the right person if you’re sending out false signals. Be authentic and let the real you come out.

2.     Love who you are. If you need someone else to make you feel great about yourself, you’re going to attract the wrong person. Acknowledge your greatness and lead with it.

3.     Maintain a positive attitude. If you accept yourself and love all that you are, it’s hard not to have a positive attitude. This will not only attract more positive relationships but it will also increase your respect and standard for yourself to help in selecting the right person for you.

By understanding the power in the laws of attraction, you understand that you have control in who you attract by controlling what you put out, and always presenting your best self. If you work with the laws of attraction, positive attractions and relationships are bound to follow.

Author: Dani James (Intern)

 

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Forgive and Set Boundaries--5 Steps to Protect Yourself

Forgive and Set Boundaries--5 Steps to Protect Yourself

“Forgiveness allows us to let go of the pain in the memory and if we let go of the pain in the memory we can have the memory but it does not control us. When memory controls us we are then the puppets of the past.” – Alexandra Asseily. I love this quote because it is so true in the process of forgiveness. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you automatically forget everything that happened, it means you are making a conscious decision to let go of the pain and anger that is bringing you down, and learn for the memory.

Forgiving someone that has damaged your trust and security in the relationship, whether it is a fight with your siblings, other family members, or friends, the way you handle it is all the same. I recommend these 5 stages to help forgive and let go in difficult circumstances.

Give yourself permission. Wanting to forgive and actually embracing the processes of forgiveness are two very different concepts. Allowing yourself to do so is the first step in the process because it can sometimes be the hardest. Having to let go and allow yourself to be vulnerable in a situation you were once hurt can be scary. But it can build your confidence, courage, and self-esteem knowing you can get through some tough experiences EVEN IF the situation does repeat itself. It builds your confidence knowing that whatever life brings, you have the strength to overcome it. Holding on to resentment and anger won’t make the other person or the situation any better and it will only hurt you.

Be self-aware. Tune into your feelings and identify why you’re upset. Avoidance is never a good long-term approach because it will come out in the relationship in other destructive ways.

Consider the past and present. Look at the (offending) persons past behavior. If they have done this numerous times in the past, you will probably want to keep your guard a little closer until that pattern starts to disappear. But if this was a one time thing and their past behavior gives no real indication that it will happen again, then their prior years of consistent stability should stand for something.

Set a healthy baseline. Don’t be afraid to be honest when something is bothering you. The only way people will know which lines they can cross, is if you allow them to do so. Be assertive and confront the situation levelheaded but direct, and you will set a healthy baseline of your expectations.

Start small. When healing from a damaged relationship trying to go back and pretend that everything is normal is just avoiding the reality, which is only a short-term solution. Start small so you can build the confidence and trust back. Being self-aware is very important at this stage too, so you can determine the appropriate pace that works for you and discuss it.

Being angry and holding on to pain uses a lot of physical and emotional energy. Releasing yourself of that turmoil will allow you to having more energy that you can focus towards things that make you happy. Keeping that resentment with you is only forcing yourself to live the painful moment, every single day. Who is that really helping? Forgive and allow yourself to be happy.

Authors: Jada Jackson LMHC and Danielle James, Intern

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Better SEX! | Tips for EXPLORING Erogenous Zones

Tips for Having Better SEX with your spouse:

If we could buy love, we would probably do it! Unfortunately, we’ve heard it for decades, “Can’t buy me love!” Celebrities have proven that the purchase of love is virtually impossible; and everyday people like us have had our share of relationship catastrophes as well! But do not fret, the purchase of love is not needed when you have “Better SEX” tips to add a spark to your sex life.

We are all very different; and with different backgrounds, spiritual beliefs and experiences, it’s often difficult to find the right connection or combination to unlock passion during intimacy. It may take a few years to find the right fit for better sex, however, I want to take a moment to address ONE piece of the great puzzle of intimacy: EROGENOUS ZONES.

Erogenous zones are parts of the body that have a concentration of sensory nerve endings that cause sexual arousal. Do you know your most sensitive erogenous zones? Better yet, do you know your spouses most sensitive zones?

 

There are 3 levels of Erogenous Zones:

Level THREE: Skin and nerve endings (touching, caressing, massaging, NO SPECIAL TRAINING NEEDED FOR THIS)

Level TWO:   Foreplay areas. Back of knees, inner thighs, chest area, abdomen, neck, legs, mouth, tongue 

Level ONE: Genital areas (direct stimulation…go here last!) 

 

Tips for Better Sex:

1)            STUDY the male and female erogenous zones

2)            EXPLORE your spouse’s erogenous zones (become a student)

3)            PRACTICE locating your partner’s most stimulating zones

4)            REPEAT

 

One thing to do today: Choose one evening this week and commit to EXPLORE your spouse’s erogenous zones. 

 

Jada Jackson, M.S., M.A., LMHC, NCC

Licensed Mental Health Counselor

Talk Show Host of Emotional Mojo

Author of Be-You-Tiful: The Threefold Process to Becoming You

Blogger and Author of Jada Jackson: My Story, My Life

jadajackson.com

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