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17 Ways to Spot a Liar

17 Ways to Spot a Liar

We've all been lied to and we've all lied at some point in our lives. But don't you hate it when you uncover a liar? It leaves you feeling betrayed and hurt. Many of my clients come to me to manage broken hearts due to betrayal. Usually there were red flags of betrayal, but they always questioned whether or not they were wrong. Well, hopefully this will help.

Here are seventeen things to look for when spotting a liar: 

  • Body language speaks louder than words. If the person you're speaking to is fidgety, wringing their hands, or fiddling with their hair, these are often clues that they're lying. Sometimes it might be nervousness because they are shy or naturally introverted; however, if the person you're talking to isn't known for being shy or nervous, then chances are they're lying.

  • A liar will often cross his or her arms across their body as they speak. They may even move objects like books or cups to create a barrier between the two of you.

  • Eye contact is another thing to pay attention to when trying to spot a liar. When you're being lied to, the other person often won't look at you directly in the eye. They'll look down, off to the side, and every other place just to avoid direct eye contact with you.

  • When a liar says contradictory things, it's an obvious sign that they're lying. Listen for discrepancies in their stories.

  • The tone of voice changes when lying. Listen for high pitched or lower tones than their normal speaking voice.

  • Liars tend to avoid details when speaking. Often they just stick to the bold facts and leave out small details in order to keep their story straight.

  • When talking to a liar, he or she will often hesitate in their speech while thinking up a lie to fit the occasion. This could be clearing their throat, taking a deep breath or simply pausing before responding.

  • Eye movement is another thing to look for when spotting a liar. All people naturally move their eyes, unconsciously, one way or another when they are in conversation. If a person looks to their right (your left) they are often constructing lies. If they look to their left (your right) they're truly drawing upon their memory in response.

  • Changing the subject away from the current conversation is another clue that you're being lied to. Often liars will fill a conversation with obscure details that detract from the topic at hand in order to avoid telling the truth.

  • People who lie tend to steer away from using pronouns like 'I' or 'we.'

  • Liars will often use humor or sarcasm to avoid a subject.

  • Liars feel guilty and may storm off or act out in anger to hide their deception.

  • Research shows that, when a person is dishonest, they tend to touch their nose a lot.

  • Heavy breathing, sweating or a tight jaw is another indicator that you may be lied to.

  • If questioned enough, liars won't be able to remember all the details of a lie or string of lies they've told. Most liars will attack or leave before they're caught.

  • Touching the face may indicate a person is lying or uncomfortable. The higher up on the face, the worse the lie is.

  • A hunched over posture is another indication of a liar. Confident people sit up straight with their shoulder back. Insecure people sit hunched over with their hands in their pockets. It's also interesting to note that studies have shown those who are insecure are more prone to lie.

  • According to some studies, deceptive lying begins as early as four or five years of age. Children learn that they can avoid punishment by lying. If not dealt with effectively at this young age, lying can quickly and easily become a terrible habit.

Don't be lied to again. By learning to watch for these signs and behavioral patterns, you'll be able to spot a liar with relative ease! Of course, these are merely suggestions to encourage you to be aware of body language and take responsibility for yourself. Happy learning

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Change Your Attitude, Change Your Life! | Dr. Jada LMHC

Change Your Attitude, Change Your Life!

When your life goes in a direction that you’d rather not experience, it’s often hard to deal with the challenge. You try many different ways to get yourself on the right track, but nothing you’re doing seems to work. Does that sound familiar? 

If it does, you’ve undoubtedly noticed that having the ideal life isn’t always easy to come by. However, enjoying a fulfilling life has very little to do with how your cards are dealt, but rather how you play them.

As the saying goes, “Life is 1% what happens to you and 99% how you deal with it.” How you deal with life’s situations ultimately determines your quality of life.

The attitude you display in any circumstance will inevitably impact the outcome of it. But you’re probably wondering, “How am I supposed to react to a negative event other than feel negatively about it?” Let’s take a look at an example and how a change in attitude can improve your situation: 

The Traffic Scenario

Let’s say you’re driving and you’re about to come upon a yellow light, which you’d rather not stop at because you’re late. So you speed up and actually run through the red light instead, and end up being stopped by a police officer, who is now writing you a ticket.

You’re angry and annoyed because you’re late for a meeting at the office. Your anger overflows and you suddenly start to shove the police officer. As a result, you get a second ticket for assaulting an officer. Your negative attitude has resulted in receiving two tickets instead of one, and you’re still late for the meeting!

Let’s look at how a change in attitude could have impacted the outcome for the better:

·      Leaving home a little earlier would have bought you enough time so you wouldn’t have to speed through the light in the first place.

·      Stopping at the yellow light would have resulted in a two-minute delay instead of the 20-minute delay you experienced with the police officer!

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·      Accepting your wrong-doing and acknowledging it to the police officer could have resulted in leniency with the first offense. You might have gotten off without a ticket at all.

·      Containing your anger would definitely have prevented the ticket for the second offense.

·      You’re now down at least $200, which you were planning to use to complete your credit card payments. A more positive attitude would have saved some money and enabled you to follow through on your credit card payment plan.

That example clearly shows how a change in attitude can significantly change the outcome of a situation you’re thrown into – or one which you’ve created all on your own! It is instinctual to want to respond to the tone of a situation with an equal tone. But when that tone’s negative, you’ll almost always end up being worse off.

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The minute you start to change your attitude towards life’s challenges, you’ll start to feel accomplished at the end of a challenge as opposed to feeling conquered by it.

When you remember that you have the power to choose your reaction, you’ll have the power to determine the outcome of a situation!

Over the years, I’ve learned that the key to maintaining a healthy attitude towards life, self and others is to take responsibility for my own thoughts, emotions and reactions. I believe that we can live our best lives when we intentionally fill our minds and meditate on the things in life that are true, honorable, honest, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to celebrate, not things to curse. Being intentional about seeing the best in self, others and the world gives us the advantage in possessing a truly positive mindset.

If your ultimate goal in life is to be truly happy, stop and take a look at how much control you have over most outcomes. Once you have stopped long enough to realize that only you can determine how happy you feel, you’ll automatically start making the choices and attitude adjustments that will help you achieve that happiness!

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